Princess Lessons: Don’t Dream Your Life Away

Cinderella is not my favourite princess.

There, I said it. (Don’t hate me.)

Image source: disney.wikia.com

There’s no denying her life is hard and she must have some saint-like qualities to put up with her wicked stepmother and awful stepsisters, but – and this is my problem with her – she doesn’t do anything except dream of something better. Of course, it’s important to have dreams for your life and I hope to teach Poppet and Pixie to have big dreams, but Cinderella seems quite content to dream her life away.

Everything that occurs in the film happens to her, as if she’s not really an active force in her own life. If not for the mice and birds, she wouldn’t have a ballgown for Anastasia and Drusilla to rip to shreds.

If not for her fairy godmother, she would have stayed at home in her tattered gown and dreamed of better days.

If not for the mice (again) she would have remained locked in her room until the Duke left.

If left to her own devices, nothing in her life would have changed. I don’t want my daughters to get the idea that other people will make their dreams come true.

Poppet and Pixie have a fabulous fairy godmother who is also their hairstylist extraordinaire. (She works magic with their curls, and I won’t deny the life-changing power of a good haircut, so if you’re on the East Rand and looking for a stylist, ask for AC at Pasquale.)

However, Cinderella’s uncomplaining servant heart is a quality I’d like to foster in my little princesses. I want to teach them that serving others is not the same as being a doormat. And I’d really like them to sing happily while tidying up instead of moaning about it.

Cinderella is kind and loving, more qualities I’d like to instill in Poppet and Pixie. She looks after the animals – even Lucifer, the mean cat. She doesn’t shout; she doesn’t even raise her voice. She forgives her stepmothers and stepsisters for their cruelty to her.

So, despite her passivity, we can still learn from her. And there’s nothing wrong with dreaming – as long as that’s not all you do.

Princess Lessons: Stranger Danger

Poppet and Pixie love the Disney princesses. They never tire of watching the movies, “reading” the magazines, role-playing various scenes or singing their favourite songs. There is a lot of talk around the Internet whether it’s appropriate for Christians to let their children watch movies that include magic and witches; or if feminist moms’ little girls should be watching movies that convey patriarchal messages where the man is always the hero riding to the rescue; or if, in a world with an unhealthy idea of beauty, little girls should idolise the Disney version of what it means to be pretty.

Look, if you’re that worried, then you might as well throw out your TV, never venture out of your house, and keep your kids away from other children. I tried my best to keep Poppet in the dark about the existence of a certain annoying purple dinosaur, but as soon as she started school, she started singing the theme song and even told me she loved him. It was a dark day in our family.

Satan himself. {Image credit: ssb.wikia.com}

My point is this: yes, Disney’s princess movies are full of gender stereotypes and questionable elements, but they contain some important lessons too.

So, here is the first in my series of Princess Lessons:

Image credit: thistlespace.org

Snow White, the fairest of them all, doesn’t exactly conform to today’s standard of beauty. She’s curvy, and her curves tell my daughters that beauty does not equate to being skinny. She also shows my daughters that they don’t have to be blonde to be beautiful.

Snow White’s stepmother is insanely jealous of Snow White’s beauty, and tries to have her killed. My daughters see that beauty is not necessarily an advantage in life and that it can cause problems for a person: unwanted male attention; unfair assumptions about intelligence, personality, ambitions; and unfair expectations, to list a few.

Snow White is far too trusting. Not all of her choices are bad, though. The seven men she moves in with turn out to be good guys, but trusting an old woman almost gets Snow White killed. Poppet and Pixie are friendly little girls who greet everyone they see. I’m working on getting the “don’t talk to strangers” lesson across.

Snow White isn’t afraid of hard work. Once she moves in with the dwarfs, she cooks for them and keeps their house tidy. My girls need all the encouragement they can get when it comes to tidying their rooms. (Confession time: I am not the most diligent housewife, so perhaps I can stand to learn a thing or two from Snow White as well.)

What are your thoughts on Disney princesses?

The Tragic Tale of the Cupcake Book

Pixie’s favourite book is one of those learning-to-count-one-to-ten board books. She likes to look at the page with seven cupcakes, and points to them while smacking her lips and making yum-yum-yum noises.

Pixie also likes to put things in the washing machine. Once I found a clove of garlic as I was taking out the freshly washed (and slightly garlic-scented) clothes to hang out to dry. Another time I found a half-eaten slice of pizza – thankfully before I put a load of washing in. I’m usually very good at checking the machine. Usually.

But then one day, tired and frazzled, I didn’t. I shoved the dirty clothes in, shut the door, and started the cycle. A few minutes later, Hubby said, “Hon, did you know the cupcake book is in the washing machine?”

There went every lesson I’ve been trying to instill on how we have to look after books, and make sure they’re put away, and must not get broken. Poppet and Pixie stared at the machine, fascinated and amused, as the book was pressed against the door, clothes swirling in the background, little bits of book breaking off from the edges. I wanted to cry. Not so much at the loss of the book, although finding a replacement might be expensive, but at the thought of having to clean the inside of the washing machine.

It’s a sad, sad fact that sleep-deprivation has made me stupid. Washing books. Dropping a plate on my foot. Melting the iron – something I’m trying very hard to forget.

I am seriously considering putting a sticker next to the washing machine’s “on” button: “Have you checked for books, toys or food?” I obviously need the reminder.